Giving and Receiving in Japanese: Ageru, Kureru and Morau
Japanese has three everyday verbs for giving and receiving: あげる (ageru, to give, from you or your side to someone else), くれる (kureru, someone gives to you or your side) and もらう (morau, to receive). Which one you use depends on the direction of the gift relative to you, not just on who gives and who receives. The same three verbs attach to the te-form to talk about favours, as in 手伝ってくれてありがとう (thanks for helping me), so they matter far beyond presents.
The three verbs at a glance
| Verb | Direction | Example |
|---|---|---|
| あげる ageru | From me (or my side) outwards, or between other people | 私は友達に本をあげました。 I gave my friend a book. |
| くれる kureru | From someone else towards me (or my side) | 友達が本をくれました。 My friend gave me a book. |
| もらう morau | I (or my side) receive from someone | 私は友達に本をもらいました。 I got a book from my friend. |
“My side” includes your family and, at work, your own company. So 先生が妹に辞書をくれました (the teacher gave my little sister a dictionary) uses くれる, because your sister is on your side. With もらう, the giver can be marked with に or から: 友達から本をもらいました is also fine.
Polite and casual versions
| Plain | Polite (to or from someone higher) | Casual (to animals, plants, younger family) |
|---|---|---|
| あげる | さしあげる (humble) | やる: 花に水をやる (water the flowers) |
| くれる | くださる (respectful) | — |
| もらう | いただく (humble) | — |
You already know one of these: ください in “please” comes from くださる, and いただきます before a meal comes from いただく. For more on polite verbs, see keigo basics.
Favours: ~てあげる, ~てくれる, ~てもらう
| Japanese | Say it | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 手伝ってくれてありがとう。 | tetsudatte kurete arigatō. | Thanks for helping me. |
| 友達に写真を撮ってもらいました。 | tomodachi ni shashin o totte moraimashita. | I had my friend take a photo (for me). |
| 弟に宿題を教えてあげました。 | otōto ni shukudai o oshiete agemashita. | I helped my little brother with his homework. |
| もう一度説明していただけますか。 | mō ichido setsumei shite itadakemasu ka. | Could you explain it once more? (polite request) |
| 先生が推薦状を書いてくださいました。 | sensei ga suisenjō o kaite kudasaimashita. | My teacher kindly wrote me a reference letter. |
Adding くれる or もらう shows you’re grateful for what someone did. Without it, 友達が手伝いました just states a fact and can sound cold. If you need a refresher on the te-form, see the Japanese te-form.
Common mistakes
- 友達が私にあげました. When the gift comes to you, use くれる: 友達が（私に）くれました.
- Offering a favour to a superior with ~てあげる. 先生、持ってあげます sounds condescending. Say お持ちしましょうか (shall I carry that for you?).
- Mixing up the particle with もらう. The giver takes に or から; the receiver takes は or が.
- Leaving out the favour verb when thanking. Say 来てくれてありがとう, not just 来てありがとう.
How Hanabuddies can help
Giving and receiving is easy to understand on paper and hard to use quickly in conversation. Our native tutors teach one-to-one online and set up short role plays (thanking a host, asking a colleague for help, talking about gifts) until the right verb comes out without thinking.