Visiting a Japanese Home: Etiquette and Useful Phrases
When you visit a Japanese home, bring a small gift (手土産, temiyage), say お邪魔します (ojama shimasu, “sorry to intrude”) as you enter, take your shoes off in the entrance (玄関, genkan) and turn them to face the door, and use the toilet slippers only in the toilet. At the table, wait to be invited to start, say いただきます before eating and ごちそうさまでした after. When you leave, say お邪魔しました, and send a thank-you message later that day.
Before you go
- Bring a gift. Sweets or snacks from your home country or a good local shop are ideal. Hand it over in the room, not at the door, with つまらないものですが or the more modern よかったら皆さんでどうぞ. See gift etiquette.
- Wear clean socks without holes; you’ll be in them all evening.
- Arrive on time, not early. Arriving early can catch your host still preparing.
Useful phrases
| Japanese | Say it | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| お邪魔します。 | ojama shimasu. | Sorry to intrude (said when entering). |
| 本日はお招きいただき、ありがとうございます。 | honjitsu wa omaneki itadaki, arigatō gozaimasu. | Thank you for inviting me today. |
| よかったら皆さんで召し上がってください。 | yokattara minasan de meshiagatte kudasai. | Please enjoy this together, if you like. |
| 素敵なお家ですね。 | suteki na ouchi desu ne. | What a lovely home. |
| とてもおいしいです。 | totemo oishii desu. | This is delicious. |
| 何かお手伝いしましょうか。 | nanika otetsudai shimashō ka. | Can I help with anything? |
| そろそろ失礼します。お邪魔しました。 | sorosoro shitsurei shimasu. ojama shimashita. | I should be going. Thank you for having me. |
Shoes, slippers and tatami
- Step out of your shoes in the 玄関 without stepping on the lower floor in socks, then turn them to face the door (or let your host do it).
- Wear the slippers offered, but take them off before stepping onto tatami.
- Use the separate toilet slippers only in the toilet, and don’t forget to switch back.
At the table
- Wait to be shown where to sit; the seat furthest from the door is usually for the guest of honour.
- Don’t stick chopsticks upright in rice or pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks; both are associated with funerals.
- When drinks are poured, pour for others and let them pour for you. Say 乾杯 together before drinking.
- If you have allergies or dietary needs, tell your host in advance. See food allergies and dietary needs.
Afterwards
Send a short message the same evening thanking your host for the food and their time. If they’re older or it was a special occasion, a handwritten card is a nice touch. See a thank-you letter to a host and, if it was your partner’s family, meeting your partner’s family.
How Hanabuddies can help
Our native Japanese tutors teach one-to-one online, in English. Before a visit we can practise greetings, polite small talk and table phrases, and talk through the etiquette for your situation, whether it’s a homestay, a colleague’s home or meeting your partner’s parents. See also Japanese for a homestay.